2 January 2011
Today is our daughter’s 26th birthday – Happy birthday beautiful Vanessa!
The poor Love, she’s never really enjoyed her birthday because it’s so close to New Year’s Eve and the last thing most people feel like doing on January 2nd is partying!
I remember one year, I think she turned seven or eight, and we’d planned a gorgeous birthday party, we’d made the cake and iced it, had the chocolate crackles icy cold in the fridge, lemonade, balloons and streamers. None of Vanessa’s friends turned up – same old story, it was the holidays, they’d forgotten because we’d given the invitations out before school finished for the year, they were away, they had family staying etc etc. That kind of stuff is really heart-breaking for a child and something that lingers in their memory for years.
Last year I did a lot of self development stuff and part of that was changing my belief about being worthy. The one answer to all the questions about why we think we can’t do something always comes back to “I’m not good enough”. I knew that but I didn’t know how to get past it. How do you change your mind-set to believe that you are good enough? And why do we think that anyway? From what I can recall, no-one’s ever said I’m not good enough. Not in those words anyway.
Then one day I was listening to a friend’s story (thanks Jen) about the same stuff and her question was this: “Who’s ever let you down? Who’s failed you by not showing up when they said they would? Who’s disappointed you?” And I had this huge “aha” moment when I realised that’s why we have those beliefs, it’s our interpretation of our value in other people’s eyes. They don’t have to say anything, they just have to let us down and we then think that we’re not worthy of them.
So here’s what I promise: If I commit my time to someone or something, whether it be an appointment, a party or a coffee, that’s it, I’m committed. If another invitation comes along that might be more interesting, or more fun, or even worth more money to me, unless its life or death and something completely out of my control, I won’t change it on principle. Ah, that feels really good!
Oh, and Happy Birthday to our beautiful, talented, vivacious, fun-loving Vanessa xxx